I have always believed that what goes around comes around. But there are days when I wish things would come around a little quicker. I had started this school year with a renewed outlook. As my last post showed, I was really seeing things in a new way. Then the nasty, bitter, back-stabbing witches I work with swooped in and are doing their best to make me miserable. There’s no point in giving the details, but let’s just say they are getting so bold as to badmouth me in the same room where one of my good friends sat. I volunteered to help on a committee and these women have taken upon themselves to make sure I’m not the one chosen. I was quite upset yesterday but as I tossed and turned last night, I realized that the only one upset over this was me. They were probably sleeping peacefully while I was angry and hurt. Well, I’m over it. They can live their miserable lives and I don’t have to give in to them and their pettiness. I will go on and do my job and not think about them.
Out of all of this, I did have something good happen. I made a bond a little stronger. There is a woman that I work with that I have always been friendly with and we like each other. Well, she really went to bat for me and then she gave me a huge compliment. This is a coworker that I really admire because she is very positive and always upbeat. We really connected and today she made sure to stop in my room first thing and ask how I was doing. It meant a lot to me.
On another note, I had to stop seeing Frank. My insurance will not pay for anymore sessions and my husband and I can’t afford it on our own. Frank was so kind. He actually agreed to see me a final time and didn’t charge me. We spent the time going over things that I can do on my own to keep progressing. He gave me the number of some places I could get some free counseling. He did tell me that if I had a crisis, to call him and he would see me without charging me. I told Frank I thought I would be fine and he just smiled and nodded. I’m a little more scared about not seeing Frank than I thought I would be. I will say that this episode at work yesterday didn’t put me in downward spiral like it would have a year ago. I feel stronger. I feel…more confident.
For the first time that I can recall in my life, I can say that I feel good about myself, even though things around me aren’t so good. I think Frank would be proud.