…or She Doesn’t

Breathe, I mean.  I feel like I’ve been holding my breath for months now.  I can’t pinpoint any one thing causing me to feel this way, but I can’t shake it.  I’m wondering if it has to do with how well my life seems to be going.  I’m busy with the kids and work and my husband and now coaching is going to start.  I’ve lost 35 pounds and I workout at least 5 days a week.  Physically, I’ve never felt better.  Mentally, I’m happy.  So why do I feel like I’m holding my breath?  My husband thinks (yes, we’re even sharing more) that I’ve become so accustomed to bad things happening, I’m waiting for the worst.

And I do miss this.  Writing and sharing and reading.  I think since things are going well, I’m going to make it a point to get back into blogging.  It’s difficult since the server at work as blocked all blogs so I have to do it at home, which is hectic anyway.  Well, I made time in my day to workout and take care of physical self, I just need to make time for this.



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2 responses to “…or She Doesn’t

  1. I think your husband is probably right. And the truth is that sooner or later, something bad will in fact happen, because that’s how life is; bad things happen, and good things happen.

    However, you appear to have reached a place where you can be present for the good things while they’re here. I think the next logical step is to relax into those good things, because doing that, and absorbing them fully, will give you the resilience you need when the pendulum swings back the other way.

  2. Thank you David. I’m trying to do just that, to relax into those good things, but it is so tough. I keep remembering something my therapist told me – babysteps, my dear. It’s all about babysteps. He knew my impatience well…

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