Well, I have a new therapist. After I talked about my rape, my therapist said that while he was working on some training in PTSD, he felt that it would be unfair to me to not have someone who was more capable. I thanked him and told him that I respect that and while I was sad to switch because I felt we had a good relationship, I wanted the best. The man he referred me to is actually his brother-in-law who works in the same group. He said that he felt confident that if we got along, I would get along with him. Okay, before I go on, I’m going to have to give my therapist a name. Let’s see…I think I’ll call him Frank. I don’t know why, but if he just look like a Frank.
Well, Frank and I do get along well. We initially talked about the rape – sorry, my rape – but he feels that I have disconnected from it to such an extent that we have to work our way back to that time. He has asked me to refer to as “my rape” as a way of trying to connect so I’m doing my best. I do enjoy our talks and he is so patient. When I talked about my reaction to being near the apartment, I began having the physical reaction. He taught me a tapping sequence while I was having the physical reaction. While it’s no miracle, it seems to have weakened those reactions.
Frank has to remind me often that I need to be patient. I want it to be fixed, but I have to keep in mind it is a process.