I’m not sure if veiled is the right word, but it is what comes to mind. I am so tired of the women in my department setting up meetings to talk about concerns that supposedly affect everyone when in reality, it is about me. Does that make sense? I tend not to make sense when I am angry.
We had a meeting because so we could “update” our caseloads and our class load for each class period. I am the only one in my department that doesn’t have a homeroom which means that the others have mainly their homerooms all day. Due to my OCD, I have a nice little chart printed that shows each hour with each student and what I teach them during that hour. I have a copy in my room, the secretary in the office has a copy, the principal has a copy, and there is a copy in my sub folder. Whenever a student is added or removed from my caseload, I adjust the printout and get a new copy to each place. When they asked me to fill out yet another form for the office, I asked if I couldn’t just give them the printout (I also mentioned that the office already had a current form). I was told no and not given a reason. So, I sat down and wrote it out on the form (not a nice looking, easy to follow form either – no lines, not enough space – I’m so critical). Now, it has come to my attention that no one asked for this form. It apparently is just the self-appointed department head’s way of keeping track of me.
I am so tired of this bullshit. Yes, I swore. I try not to swear, particularly in writing, but dammit, sometimes it is warranted and sometimes it just makes me feel better. I hate my job. No, I don’t hate my job. I hate some of the people I work with. I just wish, for once, that someone had the courage to just be honest with me. Just tell me what you expect, want, need, etc. I’m not a mean or hateful person. I don’t have the energy to hold a grudge so there’s no worry of that. I want to be helpful and I want to be successful. I am not a ladder climber, either socially or professionaly. I think this goes back to being raised with 2 brothers and neighborhood full of boys. I have always been more comfortable with men. Talk about it, fight about it, then get over it. AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!