The shadows are coming again and I don’t have the energy to fight them. I started blogging because I felt like my life was missing something – that part of me was lost. I don’t care anymore. I’m done fighting for something I can’t seem to reach. I will be the dutiful wife, the caring mother, the concerned teacher, understanding friend. I thought there was more to me but maybe I’m wrong. I have nothing left at the end of the day. Redefining myself has been so important but I can’t do it anymore. Every ounce of strength I have is being used by others and for others. There is nothing left. This darkness, these shadows are overwhelming. I think they represent everyone in my life. Taking pieces of me, dimming the light that was once me. I will continue with my life, playing the roles I am in. Right now, I am fighting the urge to crawl under my desk and cry. I just want to be someplace without everyone wanting – needing – something from me. Maybe I’m too naive in wishing that there was one person in this world to put a hand on my shoulder or give me a hug and listen. Not give advice, not try to fix me. Just be there for me.