What I am about to say, well, write, is going to sound incredibly selfish. At least that is how I feel. I’m not going to apologize for my feelings, though. They are mine.
My husband just called. He has to meet a family tonight at 5:30pm. This shouldn’t bother me, but it does. It seems that every time I make plans, they go to hell in a handbasket. That saying makes me smile – it was a favorite of my great grandmother’s. Anyway, we didn’t have school today – Christopher Columbus Day. I had a doctor’s appointment at 10:15am. My parents agreed to watch the kids for me and I had planned on going to the fitness club to sign up after I was done. When I dropped my kids off, my mom asked if I was going to be long. She said that she and my father had some errands and they didn’t want to take the kids. Great. So, I went to plan B, which was go to the fitness center after my husband got home, then go to school and make my copies for the week. His phone call shot plan B down in a hurry.
I’m so tired of my plans getting put on the back burner. I have tried to sign up at the fitness center so many times, only to have someone need me. I read an article at the doctor’s office about how we put off things that don’t mean so much to us or we don’t really want to do. I WANT THIS! Dammit.
I think I’ve just realized why I find myslef being lazy around the house. I’m afraid to plan anything because my plans will get changed. That realization doesn’t help me at all right now. I don’t think. Well, my daughter just woke up and my son is looking for a snack. Again, I’m stopping what I want to do for someone else.