A Word

I went to the doctor yesterday.  It was a routine appointment and I went in not expecting much.  I am amazed at how one word can change your life.  My doctor said he “had some concerns” but not to worry…yet. 


My family history shows that this is not a complete surprise.  My mother had one at 45, my aunt is in the process of getting one.  My cousin just had one and she’s younger than I am.


I had the sudden urge to scream at him, “BUT I’M ONLY 34!”  I understand that women have this done everyday.  I also understand that there are worse things that can happen. 


I don’t know why this is so upsetting to me.



Filed under doctors, faith, feelings, medical

3 responses to “A Word

  1. I think it’s perfectly understandable that it would be upsetting. I hope that this possibility is not in your immediate future, and also that there is someone you can talk to about your feelings . . . I imagine your doctor would send you to a specialist? This might seem like an obvious idea, but a female doctor would probably be better able to attend to you as a whole patient, and have both more understanding and probably different resources for your emotional response . . . so if he does refer you on, you might consider asking for a female doctor.

  2. trured73

    It is something I have considered. Now that I am over the shock of it, I’m going to take it one step at a time. I go for a sonogram tomorrow afternoon and then we wait for the results of my Pap smear (I hate that name – or maybe I hate the name because I hate the test). He did give my a ten year timeline, so I’m hoping we’re looking at the far end of that. A good friend told me he thinks I am upset because it is a loss of control, or more accurately choice. I hadn’t thought of it that way. Right now, it’s in my control whether or not we have more children and even though it is my choice not to have more, it is still my choice. Having a hysterectomy takes that choice away. Anyway, I will keep your advice in mind!

  3. Fortunately, ten years (hopefully!) is a long time. And a Pap smear wouldn’t sound good, no matter what the circumstances . . . it’s really a nasty-sounding name. It’s the smear part.. . I wonder why they don’t call it a “culture”? Yeesh.

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