I had an interesting experience this morning. I am wearing an outfit in which I feel very good in. Cream colored pants, a silky black and cream shirt with a circle design, and black heels. There is nothing extraordinary about the outfit, but I feel good when I am in it. The cuts of both the top and the pants are modern. I feel…pretty. Whether other people think I am or not is a different story and, in this outfit, I don’ t seem to care.
Back to my original point. My mother hates this outfit. She hasn’t said she hates it in so many words, but it is her lack of words that leads me to believe she doesn’t like it. That and her look of disapproval. My sudden realization is focused on her reaction to this outfit and other outfits she dislikes. I don’t think it has anything to do with her like or dislike of the clothing itself. Most of the clothes of mine that she dislikes are ones in which I feel good and ones that I have gotten compliments on. Her apparent dislike is not dislike – it is jealousy.
There was something in her eyes when she saw me in this outfit. I feel like I’m kicking myself for not seeing it sooner. When we shop together, she leads me to clothes that she would wear. And steers me away from clothes that I like, saying they’re not appropriate.
Hmmm…maybe I’m not the one with ALL the issues.