Summer End

For me, the summer is quickly coming to a close.  In one week, I will be starting school.  I don’t ever remember starting school so early when I was young.  Of course, when you’re young, your perceptions are often askew.  Anyway, I am both sad and happy.  Sad because I have thoroughly enjoyed being at home with my children this summer and I am going to miss these wide open days.  I’m happy because, well, I’m always a little happy for school to start.  I love school supplies and organizing everything for the start of a new school year.  And, for the most part, I enjoy my co-workers.

That brings me to my dilemma.  I have recently found out that one of my co-workers made a formal complaint and turned in a log of my wereabouts last school year.  She made the accusation that I wasn’t doing my job.  Now, I knew someone had made a complaint but I didn’t realize there was a log of when I was in my classroom and when I wasn’t.  I also wasn’t sure exactly who had made the complaint.  I’m not sure how I feel about it now.  I was hurt and angry when the principal first told me in the spring, but now, I don’t know.  Actually knowing who did it seems trivial.

I have always treated my co-workers with professional courtesy.  I may not like a co-worker as a person, but I always give them professional respect.  I also may not agree with the way another teacher teaches, but we all have our own style.  My way is not the best way.  And I also believe in basic human respect.  I have not always treated people with kindness, but I try to remember that we’re all human and should at least try to be kind to each other.  It seems, however, that there are a number of teachers I am currently teaching with that don’t hold the same philosophy.

I was watching “Big Brother 8” and came to a realization.  First let me say that I get hopelessly addicted to television shows, and usually the worst ones.  Anyway, I have watched every season of Big Brother and I am always amazed at how ruthless and devious these people can be when playing the game.  And every season, it makes me sad to see people act this way.  As I watching the other night, I realized that it seems that the people I work with are being the same way.  It’s all about who you’re friends with and how your alliances play out. 

So, as we hurtle towards the beginning of a new school year, I am torn on how to deal with the situation.  Part of me wants to confront the people who seem to enjoy hurting me by starting rumors and attacking me as a person and as a teacher.  I want to tell them that I will not stupe to their level and I will always treat them with professional courtesy.  I want to tell them that they can’t hurt me anymore because I won’t let them.  The other part of me wants to be sickeningly sweet.  I want to make them question, in their own minds, why they were so mean to me.  I also want to be overly happy, praying that attitude will spread.

I am aware that I sound incredibly naive. 

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1 Comment

Filed under feelings, school, teaching, work

One response to “Summer End

  1. For whatever it’s worth . . .

    If it were me, I’d get the person alone ASAP, and say simply,with no accusation, and actually no emotional affect whatsoever: “I understand that you filed a complaint about me. I’m interested to know why you felt the need to do that.”

    Either you’ll scare the hell out of whomever it is, or you’ll be able to have a conversation that might bring some of the issues to the forefront, instead of lurking in the shadows, where they appear to be right now.

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